Unfettered!

I learned this past Saturday that my beloved aunt died in her sleep. I say beloved because she wasn't just an aunt to me, she was an aunt-mother-friend. When I was just shy of my 13th birthday, I was sent to her house in Jacksonville, FL, for a visit while my mom worked out a solution to a very serious family situation - one that involved me not being able to live in the same house with her if my step-father also lived there. My summer visit became permanent when my aunt received a call from my mom asking her if she would like a little girl - me. My mom had found her solution to our problems back home. Instead of leaving her husband, she basically gave me away (please know that my mom and I had a very good relationship later in our lives - part of God's miracle of healing). My aunt graciously accepted me into her home, her family and her life. Mind you, I did not know her that well. I saw her only a hand full of times in my 13 years of life, but, for some reason, I had always had a great fondness for her. Now I know why. I was to be her little girl for a season - she already had three grown sons. My aunt was a wonderful, kind, and generous women God used to bring healing into my life. In her care, I experienced family love for the first time.  That love helped me through some really tough transitions and losses. The irony in my relationship with her is that she was the sister of my step-father - the one I could not live with any longer and the one who caused me great pain and sorrow.

This is my Aunt Myrtle many years ago  with her entire family. She is the 4th from the (L). My step-father is the 1st from the (R)

As I was grieving her death today, God began to show me some things. You might think what I am about to say is a little bit bizarre or you could find it enlightening. The Lord revealed to me that my aunt was the last person to die that was directly related to the history of my childhood pain. There were several significant people who contributed to my injuries and several who had a hand in my healing - she was a healer. God also brought to my mind that those who injured me and those that brought me healing are all in heaven together now (each of them being believers at the time of their death - including my step-father). Isn't that something.  The enemy did not win in his attempt to destroy my life and God even made a show of his efforts!

The effect of my past on my life has reached its fullness. It is complete. I will not be able to find my way back there. A path no longer exists. It doesn't mean I won't remember my past. That would be tragic. I want to remember what God has done for me. I guess what I am trying to say is that the past will no longer have any power over me.  I even had a vision of my aunt letting me go like a balloon. I said, "Lord, shouldn't it be me releasing her?" He said, "It is in honoring her role in your life that I am giving her the privilege in death of releasing you into your destiny. Unfettered." Strange, but a true vision. 

Unfettered. 

When I heard the word "unfettered," I began to see an image of a wounded eagle that had been rescued and taken to a place of refuge for care. I then saw that its healing was complete and it was now time for it to return to its natural environment - the one it was created for. I am that eagle. Oh, how I despised the fettering at times. I fought against the hand that cared for me and tended my wounds. I wanted to be free from restraints. I wanted to do the things I was created for now! I did not understand that the battering and wounding that I endured had left me vulnerable, weak and an easy target for the enemy - that what was happening to me in His care - fettering and all - was for my own good and His ultimate purposes. 

Saturday, the Lord undid my fetters. He held up his hand and said "Fly. Catch the wind of my Spirit. Soar. Be all I created you to be."

Isaiah 40:31

but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I don't know if I have been successful in conveying the spiritual significance of what I am trying to share. I don't even know if I fully understand it yet. Time will tell. As I move forward I feel confident that God will reveal to me where He and I are going and what I am to do. 

I rejoice in the knowledge that my wounds are healed and my chains are gone. I have been set free. I honor my Aunt Myrtle and give thanks to God for her life and give thanks that in her death, she has also been set free from the ties and bindings of this world. She is greatly loved and she will be greatly missed.