Phoenix Rising

I am taking an on-line writing class called "Write Your Story." My cyber classmates are wonderful. We share our writing assignments and encourage each other along the way. Many of the stories are heartbreaking, but all of them are inspiring. For one assignment, we had to make a list of events and cultural and personal history that made a significant impact on us. One classmate's list in particular made a huge impact on me. It was so full of imagery and emotion that "poem" jumped out at me right off the page. I took her list and wrote a poem in her honor.

I sent her the poem, but I did not hear back from her. I thought, "Oh no, I have crossed personal boundaries and offended her." Then yesterday I receive a note from her. She had been out of town at a hospital helping care for her mother who has cancer. Apparently, she and her mother still have some unresolved issues and the visit just stirred all those things up. She also shared with me that she was on the verge of giving up on the class and writing her story, then she saw my poem. Quoting her:

"You have given me so much with this poem. You've shown me I do have the strength and the determination to succeed. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

This is why I write. Maybe it will speak to someone else today. I know I identified with it.

Phoenix Rising

Visible cracks appear in the foundation of my life

Insanity pushes its black, moldy head into the light of day

My emotions are bankrupt and I am left without feeling

Towering walls are ever before me, blocking my escape

A quiet mind opens the door to memories - tears flow

Hope is found in love remembered and love offered

Like a phoenix, I rise out of the ashes of my circumstances

Free to fly into the future, unfettered by the past.

A Work in Progress

Hey Everyone,

I am in the process of applying for a volunteer position with an organization called Interact. This organization provides support and services to abused and battered women and their children. Actually, this is the same organization I had to turn to many years ago when I "escaped" my first marriage and, without going into any details, trust me "escape" is the right word. My daughter and I lived in a shelter provided by Interact for 6 weeks. It is an experience we will never forget. Perhaps I will write more about that later.

Pray that I will get the position at Interact that I am going after. I am applying to be a spokesperson for them. This entails going out into the community and informing groups and organizations about the services that Interact provides and its impact on the lives they serve. Here is the website for Wake county (NC) if you want to visit it: http://www.interactofwake.org/

After researching Interact's website and reading/watching some of their Facebook posts, I was inspired to write the following poem. It is a mixture of what I actually endured, thoughts, feelings, experiences, and what I have seen others endure. I am posting 3 stages of this poem. I thought someone might like to see how I end up with some of my poems - an inside peek into a writer's world. Much of my writing comes like a direct download and I make few changes, but some writing I ponder and change a lot to find just the right feel. I would be curious to hear from you what you think about the process and which version of this poem spoke to you the most.

Blessings!

Carol

#1

The Answer Revealed

Broken bones and battered flesh

Pain running through my veins

Fear inhabiting my every thought

A walking prisoner in a free world

Where do I go from here?

Stretching forth my hand for rescue

Finding nothingness for my effort

Trust a shadow in the recesses of my soul

Freedom a fantasy of biblical proportions

Where do I seek refuge?

Numbness slowing infiltrating my heart

Death methodically encroaching on living tissue

The light of my spirit ever losing ground

Existence melting into a pool of lost identity

Where is life to be found?

A spark of desire for something more

Pursuing the elusive gift of purpose

Yearnings for a destiny unveiled

Whisperings of potential and possibilities

Where can I be known?

Drawn out by a beautiful song of hope

Uncertainty crushed by the power of faith

Seized by love in its perfect form

Jesus, Son of Man and God

My answer revealed

#2

My Questions Answered

I am broken bones and battered flesh

Red-hot pain courses through my veins

All consuming fear inhabits my every thought

A prisoner in a world void of meaning

Where do I go from here?

I have been taken captive by lies and circumstances

Desperately searching for a way out of this dark pit

The gravitational pull of uncertainty is too strong

Trust remains a shadow hidden in the recesses of my soul

How do I escape this place?

Numbness slowly infiltrates the chambers of my heart

Death methodically encroaches on my right to live

The light of my spirit is losing ground inch by inch

My existence is melting into a pool of lost identity

Who will save me?

Dormant desires for significance flare up within me

Fanned by the whisperings of potential and possibilities

Yearnings for a destiny fulfilled are suddenly birthed

Pursuit for the elusive understanding of purpose ensues

What now?

The song of the Master restores my empty hope

My inhibitions are crushed beneath His dancing feet

Liberation comes to me through His perfect love

My questions are answered

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…

#3

The Captive Set Free

Flesh battered and bruised

Veins full of red-hot pain

Thoughts infected by fear

Fighting for survival

A heart crushed by despair

A soul numbed by hopelessness

A spirit robbed of joy

An identity long forgotten

Restrained by lies and circumstances

Desperately searching for liberation

Uncertainty a constant companion

Confidence a figment of the imagination

Yet, in the heat of battle, I remember…

Dormant desires flare up

Yearnings for destiny ignite

Whisperings of possibilities erupt

Purpose looms on the horizon

The heavenly Master sings a song of deliverance

Shackles are crushed beneath His dancing feet

Escape comes through His perfect love

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…