Journey of my Soul

In the womb, I was given a gift. It is called a soul. It was placed inside me with great care and it was full of seeds of promise. When I was born, my soul entered a realm of possibilities. As I grew, my soul expanded and potential stretched and reached out to the world around me. 

Promises. Possibilities. Potential. 

Open to receive. Open to embrace. 

Slap! Smack! Whack! 

Went the world around me.

Retreat!

Confused. Cautious. Unsure. 

Long suffering. Perseverance.

The long suffering of my soul carried me through time and space and placed me at the feet of Jesus. The Maker of my soul introduced me to the Keeper of my soul. His presence was made known to me. His whispers called to me, coaxing and urging me out of darkness and into the light to try again. He spoke, the Lover of my soul, the language of my soul...

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deut. 31:6 NIV)

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jer. 29:11 NIV)

"Behold, the former things have come to pass, Now I declare new things; Before they spring forth I proclaim them to you." (Isa. 42:9 NASB)

Patience.

Promises, possibilities, potential, perseverance, patience.

Walking in Fullness of Spirit

To anyone who has spent any time with me lately, it is fairly obvious that something has happened to me. Something divine. A "Lazarus" experience. A resurrection.

“When He had said these things, He cried out with a loud voice, "Lazarus, come forth.” The man who had died came forth, bound hand and foot with wrappings, and his face was wrapped around with a cloth. Jesus said to them, "Unbind him, and let him go."

John 11:43-44 (NASB)

God has called me by name out of a dead place (a tomb) and commanded that I come forth (live), be unbound and let go!

Come forth.... Unbind her.... Let her go....

I still remember the moment when I understood that Jesus had called my name and I was brought out of death and into life with Him. I even remember being aware that there was more to be done. I needed help in removing those things in my life that were associated with death - my grave clothes and their stench - and God and I have co-labored together to this end. (Lazarus means "God is my help").

It is the "let go" factor that captures my attention now.

A friend* said to me just a few days ago that she sees me as someone who is free from grave clothes, that they are lying at my feet and the word "victory" came to her mind. She shared this scripture with me:

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place."

 2 Corinthians 2:14 (NASB)

Her words gave me a fuller understanding of what has been happening to me. I am FREE! Not just free, but FREE INDEED! The grave clothes (unbinding) part of my walk with Jesus is done! It is time for me to be let go! I am walking out of a new level of victory and I am putting out a sweet smelling aroma of Him in EVERY place. 

I have graduated into a higher understanding of the freedom and life I have in Christ. It has been a long road to get to this leg of my journey. I believe I am on the last segment of my earthly, natural journey with God and I believe it will be the most fulfilling time of my life. 

"Every man serves the good wine first, and when the people have drunk freely, then he serves the poorer wine; but you have kept the good wine until now."

John 2:10 (NASB)

I have to admit. I have viewed a majority of my Christian walk as a co-laboring "to change and heal me" relationship with the Lord. I have not despised this aspect of our relationship because I love process and growth and working things out. However, I have been missing a very huge part of my Father's heart. 

His original intent...

For me to walk in fullness of spirit with Him in this world until the day I am able to walk in spirit in the fullness of His glory unveiled.

How do I do this? First, by embracing the freedom and liberty that was so costly gained on my behalf. Second, by allowing Him to do the work that frees my spirit up from ungodly entanglements and distractions. Third, acting on the truth...

I was created to have fellowship with him. To enjoy him. To be like him.  

What does walking in fullness of spirit look like in my life right now? 

Writing. Art. Photography.

Cooking. Gardening. 

Playing. Working. 

Learning. Living. 

Loving.

What does it look like in yours? I would love to share in the knowledge, and when able, the experience of how you are manifesting God's spirit in your life. 

* Thanks Meredith

The Power of Words

Words

They fascinate me!

The search for just the right words to articulate my thoughts can be satisfying at times and frustrating at others. For me, words are the building blocks, or DNA, of expression. How I choose and order the words on the inside of me, will determine what my outward expression will look like. 

Expression - as in bringing into the light, illuminating, that which is unseen - making something known.

The thing is that I don't just desire to make words known. I desire to make myself known through words. I desire people to know what is in my heart. My heart is the nucleus, the core, the creation place of my thoughts, beliefs and opinions. It is where my purposes and intentions are birthed.

This trail of thinking brought me to a particular set of verses:

"In the beginning [before all time] was the Word (Christ), and the Word was with God, and the Word was God Himself. He was present originally with God. All things were made and came into existence through Him; and without Him was not even one thing made that has come into being." John 1:1-3 (Amplified Bible)

Jesus was called "the Word." Jesus (Christ) is the core expression of who God is and he, "the Word," brought every thing that was in God's heart into being. All God's desires and intentions were birthed out of His heart and illuminated through His Son, the Word, to the world.

Words come in the form of a divine person. They come from human beings as well. There is something unique and powerful about words and the instrument that speaks them forth and it is this:

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue..." 

Proverbs 18:21(a) (NASB)

I close with this prayer:

"Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart 

be pleasing in your sight,

 O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer."

Psalm 19:14 (NIV)

May the Spirit of the Lord continuously cleanse my heart so that what is expressed from this unseen place is more and more the life and love of God.

 Amen.

In Search of a Gift

In this "great awakening" season of my life, I have made yet another wonderful discovery. 

I love a story!

I recently went on an excursion, a treasure hunt! Granted, it was in my mind, but it was a hunt none the less. What kind of treasure was I looking for?

 

A Gift

Not a present with a pretty bow on it, but gift as in

Giftedness 

I took my mental voyage all the way back to my childhood (waaaay back) to see if I could recognize a giftedness that had always been there, but had never been cultivated, that had been lying dormant due to lack of something - resources, encouragement, circumstances, etc. 

Was I an artist, a musician, an actor in the making who just never caught a break?

I searched and searched my memories. I liked music. Did I have a hidden musical gift? I liked writing poetry. Was I a poet and just didn't know it (alright - old joke). Reading was high on my list. Not sure there is a gift of reading. Day dreaming was seriously one of my favorite past times. It felt like a gift. These were nice memories, but I wanted treasure! I kept pondering things on my own and then I finally "got a clue" and petitioned God to help me find my special area of giftedness. God loves to reveal things to us....

"I will give you the treasures of darkness,

riches stored in secret places,

so that you may know that I am the LORD,

the God of Israel, who summons you by name."

Isaiah 45:3 (NIV)

He prompted me to think about what my "likes" had in common. With a little more probing on my part and prompting on God's, I got it! What He was showing me was that all my "likes" were ways of telling a story. 

Songs tell a story. Books tell stories. Poetry. Story. Day dreaming. Best kind of story.

Once I had a dream that I was having a conversation with God. Do you know what was the only thing I remembered about that conversation when I woke up? 

God likes fairy tales! 

Apparently, if my dream conversation is valid -

God loves a story too! 

The gospel being the greatest story ever told! 

The gospel is no fairy tale, but it does have a hero. His name is Jesus and He is our rescuer and defender. He came to the earth to sweep the damsel in distress, His betrothed, off her feet and into His arms for eternity. 

 

"I will betroth you to Me forever;
Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice,
In lovingkindness and in compassion,

And I will betroth you to me in faithfulness."

Hosea 2:19-20(NASB)

Thank you God for writing your story on the tablet of my heart.

Back to the search for my gift(s)...

Is the love of a story a gift? Not necessarily, but the knowledge that my love of a story is a fundamental part of who I am is a present! 

My treasure hunt continues....

The Great Awakening

I want to share about a "great awakening" that I am experiencing. 

It all started (at least in my conscious mind) when I casually picked up a book I saw on a shelf at church. The title, The Creative Call - An Artist's Response to the Way of the Spirit (by Janice Elsheimer), caught my attention. I teach a middle school Sunday school class and many of the kids are very creative. I thought it wouldn't hurt to look the book over to see if it would be something suitable for them. After reading the introductory chapter, I was hooked! I forgot about the kids and jumped in with  both feet myself! That God orchestrated the "accidental" finding of the book, I have no doubt. That I would be so changed by it, "inconceivable!" (That one is for all you "Princess Bride" fans). The book has exercises to complete - questions to answer, reflections, things to ponder (right up my alley!). The first exercise seemed fairly simple to do. It was, but the outcome was powerful. My discovery.... 

I have ALWAYS longed to be a part of something bigger than myself. 

Wait! There is a second tier.  Not just any old part, but a leader. Not just something ordinary, but something adventurous and full of risk, requiring great levels of courage and trust. You might say "don't we all." I don't know. Maybe. Probably. But, do we all embrace and own the truth of this statement. When I dug down deep, excavating through years of refuse and debris, and found this truth lying dormant in my soul, my heart leapt for joy. It came alive for me. The resurrection breath of the Holy Spirit was present at that moment. He brought it alive for me and it has been resonating in me ever since. "The great awakening."

When I think of all the opportunities I passed up because I was "afraid," I am astonished. Fear ruled my life for a very, very long time. I didn't try out for the track team, I didn't run for class president, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I spent most of my life playing it safe and running from challenges, staying under the radar and not rocking the boat. All the while, my heart yearned for adventure. Mind you, there were reasons for my fear. Fear is an effective tool of the enemy to knock courage out of a person - especially if that person is already at a disadvantage - especially if that person was created to be courageous. 

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." 

Deut. 31:6 (NIV)

I have a feeling the enemy knew more about my destiny back then than I did and he sure didn't want me to ever figure it out. He almost won. He almost destroyed me. But, God...

"In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame;

deliver me in your righteousness."

 Psalm 31:1 (NIV)

Once I asked God what he liked most about me and this is what he said: "You are intriguing." I almost fell over. I said back to Him, "God, how can you the Creator find me the created intriguing? You made me! There are no surprises!" He answered, "I am intriguing and I like intrigue. When I created you, I made you intriguing so that I could enjoy that part of who I am."  Wow! God created me for intrigue because he likes intrigue. God created me with a desire to be a part of something big because He had something big for me to be a part of.  

My hope to be a leader in something greater than myself, involving risk and trust, adventure and intrigue, was answered in  the form of a call.  

To be a part of the greatest

reconciliation

of all time

God

with his

People

How do I know this? God revealed it to me. I have been tested and found worthy and ready for the call.  Now that I understand the origin of my desires and the source of my strength, I plan to be remembered as the one that "did!"

I end this blog with the chorus of a song that is playing in my head - an invitation to you to join me....

Saddle up your horses we've got a trail to blaze

Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace

Let's follow our leader into the glorious unknown

This is life like no other - this is the Great Adventure

Come on get ready for the ride of your life

Gonna leave long faced religion in a cloud of dust behind

And discover all the new horizons just waiting to be explored

This is what we were created for

("The Great Adventure" by Steven Curtis Chapman)

The Image of Jesus

God took me through something this week that was not comfortable and, actually, was quite painful. My kind, loving and gracious Father allowed me to be broken so that He could do some mending of a supernatural nature regarding a relationship and a way of thinking.

The relationship mending aspect of what took place is precious to me and I will keep that private. Here is the "way of thinking" that challenged me and I want to put out there for examination: 

*We all have our own image of Jesus, how we visualize, imagine, see Him in our minds, and then we judge others' Christ-likeness according to how well they fit that image. 

This got me thinking (there is that contemplation side of me) about my image of Jesus. What is my image of Him? 

I see Jesus as a bold, passionate, radical lover of mankind.

Where did this image come from? (more contemplating)

From the inside out.

At least that is my desire. That is my hope. The image of Christ and the expression of Christ being worked into me and out of me by the power of the indwelling Spirit of God - His Holy Spirit -

The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man's spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. 1 Cor. 2:10(b)-12

the one who knows the Father Intimately and fully. 

How can I know if my image is accurate and truthful? What is the standard by which I measure truth?

The WORD of GOD

not the world

not an institution

not a person

Father God has assured me of this...

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. 2 Cor. 3:18 (ESV)

Through His Spirit and by His Word I can know the image of His Son and I can know that as a child of God I am being made like Him. 

"And I - in righteousness I will see your face; when I awake, I will be satisfied with seeing your likeness

Psalm 17-15 (NIV)

Amen.

(*My pastor, Gary McGhee, shared this concept with me and I ran with it)

Divine Nature

Today was our second snow day of the season in Apex, NC. Braving the cold, I headed outside with my camera to capture some awesome shots of God decorating His Creation with snow. (Photography is a new interest of mine). There is nothing quite like trying to capture an image through the lens of an eye and then through the lens of a camera. I did this today and came out the other side of the experience having found the image of God all around me. His Word says....

For his invisible attributes, namely, 

his eternal power and divine nature, 

have been clearly perceived, 

ever since the creation of the world, 

in the things that have been made.

Romans 1:20(a) (ESV)

Because I am a very symbolic thinker, I see symbolism in everything! Even as I looked over the shots I took today, and despite my human limitations -

For now we see through a mirror dimly, but then face to face; 

now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as 

I also have been fully known.

1 Corinthians 13:12 (NASB)

I couldn't help but see "word pictures" of how God reveals Himself to me by means of creation - that which He made. Through the camera lens to my eye to my mind's eye and finally, to the eyes of my heart...

"Spirit Ascending"

"Thawing Heart"

"Breakthrough is Coming"

"Repentance"

"Clothed in Righteousness"