Memoirs #4
Another favorite spot of mine was the small strip of grass that was in the backyard. It wasn’t much because the yard was small and cluttered with things and there was always the remnant of an old garden taking up space. I would lie down in the grass on my back and be as still as I could. I would not move a muscle.
I would open my eyes wide and stare up at the sky. I would watch the clouds drift by and marvel at their ability to change shape and disguises or to disappear all together. What power. What freedom.
Sometimes I would stare into the sun instead. Blinding myself momentary so that all I could see were the funny specks flying around in my eyes and then waiting for my sight to return so that I could do it again. I marveled at the strength of the sun to take away my natural eyesight and make me see things that I could not see before.
I liked lying on the ground, feeling it connecting with my body. I so wanted to be a part of something big, why not the earth? Could I just for a moment will myself to be a part of another world. Not really, but I could enjoy the itchy sensation of the grass on my arms and the tiny movements of things under me as I pressed into their world - the warmness or coolness of the earth creeping into my body as I waited for my desire to stay there forever to pass.
